Our next door neighbor has always been a bit odd and unfriendly. He and his wife rarely leave their home. Years ago, they decided to naturalize their yard which is another word for "we are too damn lazy to pull weeds and mow the grass!" They have more trees in their backyard than the city has planted on the street. Some of these trees have become quite large and because of over planting they are weak and are a danger to our property. There is one tree in particular that is planted on the property line and hangs over onto our house. Every time there is a storm, huge branches fall in our yard and it is our feeling that one day their tree will be coming down on our house. So Craig trims what he can and we just cross our fingers and say a prayer. About two months ago I was walking past the crazy neighbor's house and he was out in the front yard cutting down a pine tree and he said "tell Craig if he wants to cut down his half of the tree he can". I about had a heart attack, I thought God was speaking to me! Where was this voice coming from? In the eight years that I have known Craig, this man has NEVER said one word to me let alone tell me Craig can cut down part of a tree in his yard! Craig decided to move on this offer ASAP! We want this tree down! Craig decided because of the location of the tree and size he was not going to cut the tree down himself, we would hire someone. The first estimate was a bit steep and the neighbor balked at splitting the cost and told us he knew someone who would do it cheaper. We waited all summer and nothing was happening with the tree project. We decided to get a second estimate. The second tree trimmer comes out and he was concerned about how he was going to remove the tree after he cut it down because our yard only has small people size gates. He asked to go into the neighbors yard. As Craig and Tree Trimmer are talking, Crazy Man arrives home. Craig introduces the two to each other and explains that we are getting a second estimate and ask if they can go into his backyard. Tree Trimmer decides the best course of action is to drop the tree in the neighbor's yard and carry it out through a wide gate on their property. Crazy Man appears ok with this. Craig and Tree Trimmer return back to our yard so Tree Trimmer can finish writing up the quote. I arrive home and Craig introduces me to Tree Trimmer and we discuss the price and we decide we are going to at cut down our half of the tree (which irritates me, we have to pay to cut down his tree!)and if he wants to wait on his half so be it. As we are talking Crazy Man comes out of his house and asked Tree Trimmer if he has a business card because he need to do a background check on him and run this past my C.O.. I am thinking isn't that funny he calls his wife his "Commanding Office," but I was wrong. The next thing he said was "I work for the Federal Government and my house is watched and if you are climbing in my trees without approval you will be shot! Tree Trimmer said "wait, wait what did you say? who is going to shoot me?" Crazy Man responds "The agents watching my house. I have documents that will need to be secured or moved before you can come into my backyard, so give me at least a three day notice." I am doing all that I can not to laugh, I had to bit the inside of my mouth and look away. Crazy Man takes the business card and leaves and we are left with one of those "what the hell just happened moments!" Well, I learned somethings that day:1. If I need to make some money I could break into Crazy Man's house and steal the documents 2. My dog has not been barking at cats and rabbits in the field he has been barking at Ninjas and Secret Agents! 3.If Crazy Man is working for our Government we are all doomed and we need to move to Lithuania! 4. We probably will not get the tree cut down anytime soon if he keeps telling the tree trimmers they will be shot! By the way, Crazy Man has now installed a huge chain and lock on his gate.
