A very strange dream ...

I do not normally remember my dreams but... last night I had an interesting dream. I dreamt (by the way, did you know dreamt is also the only word in the English language that ends with mt.) that I was being guided to an understanding on why I do not sleep through the night and wake up always around 2:30 - 3:30 am. In my dream I was taken into an area and I saw that I had been a very young monk left by my parents at a monastery. The monks would get up very early around 12:00 am to pray after that I was suppose to get up around 3:00 am and I did not like to get up so I was beaten regularly by a cruel Abbott. I loved God but started to turn my back and lost my belief because I did not understand how he would allow me to be beaten and treated the way I was when my life was devoted to loving him. At the end of this dream I saw a large ancient book and I reached out to touch it and I heard "do not touch it, it is unclean and is covered in blood" but it was too late I already had it in my hands. I dropped the book and looked down and my hands were covered in the blood. I knew then that I had the Plague. This dream was very intriguing because for one it fits into my life; I studied Philosophy of Religion at UT, I love chanting, reading Thomas Merton, and solitude. At one time, I wanted to be a Buddhist Nun and have always been drawn to contemplation. For many years I have searched for God and yet I always turn my back on my beliefs and any church I get involved with. Right before I woke up I heard " It is alright to believe now.